ILLUSTRATION BY ANEISHA SRIVASTAVA

In this year of deep breaths,

the wheels of my mind

stumble to move clockwise or anti.

I thought I’d spare you the trouble

of being beside me on a day like that,

when being next to me

feels like a constant tug of war between choosing the right words

and staying silent.

So I thought I’d spare you the trouble

of being beside me on a day like that,

where my real self is miles away,

drifting out for a long walk,

shapes of clouds filling the spaces between my thoughts.

But instead, you choose to stay

and attempt to declutter,

and on such days, the knowledge sinks in

of how even the worst of me

is acceptable to the right people,

and that I fell in love with someone

who was kinder to me than I was to myself.